a reflection of "my guy"
a writer/director's reflection on making a short film and where she lands.
If you’ve spent any amount of time with me, you’ll find that I fixate. I have always been this way, and I’m sure I will continue in similar fashion. In order to love something in my full capacity, I have to know it inside out. That’s why I’ve watched movies like Stand By Me (1986) upwards of forty times; why most times I’m reading a book, I’m re-reading it; why I’m currently writing this while listening to the soundtrack to Big Chill (1983) on cassette, listening to the shrieks and squeals of the tape and wondering how much mileage it has left, before The Temptations’ “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg” will start to sound more like a jack-in-a-box tune than a Motown record.
In the final months of 2023 Big Chill became a massive fixation of mine (along with Call Me By Your Name (2017) and The Holdovers (2023) and that led to me creating a script that, in my humble opinion, fit a similar niche. There’s no genre of film that I gravitate more to than just people talking in rooms. Airing out dirty laundry or avoiding it, doesn’t matter. I’ll be purchasing a ticket. I will be seated, thank you very much.
I started writing this the same week we finished editing My Guy…which is not a large window for reflection. Now, months and a whole cross-state move later, I feel like I finally have the words to express how making this 26 minute short has impacted me.
That being said…
My first short film as a writer/director – post-college – is finally complete. It’s real. My Guy is a labor of love that I began writing in October of 2023 and completed editing in early July 2024…that’s like a whole baby right there. For nine months me and my lovely collaborators have been working on this project, and to finally have the finished product in my lap feels unreal. And it has a poster! Look!
Pretty visuals, I know! You may be wondering at this point, what is My Guy even about? Well…
My Guy follows Eric, a young man in an affair with a closeted man, Robin, who realizes they may be unable to reconcile their relationship when Robin proposes to his longtime girlfriend.
Tale as old as time, yes? It is a drama where we observe two people with a complex relationship, grappling with the damage their feelings for each other have caused. And decide if all of that pain is worth moving forward together. The greatest minds of our generation have been rotted by situationships, and my film is a response to this. It’s a story about how we should all be more honest with ourselves and our partners. And everyone in between, why stop there?
As somebody who recently had emerged from the darkness that is writer’s block late last year, I faced a lot of trepidation with sharing this script to begin with; it’s a vulnerable and potentially ick-inducing venture, writing. Even so, I am glad that I did.
For My Guy to become anything more than words on a page takes so much more than that. I couldn’t have asked for a better cast, crew, or support system through this process. Some of the first eyes on this script were Nick Green and Ray Lydell; Nick served as the short’s director of photography and editor; and our producer extraordinaire, Ray, is the brains & brawn behind Salty Doubloon Digital Studio. Two of the most confident, inspiring, organized people I’ve ever met, My Guy simply would not have been made without them.
Veronica Rozler, Avye Alexandres, and Gabrielle Nunzio served as the Holy Trinity of Keeping My Head Attached to My Shoulders™ – our 1st AD/Production Designer, 2nd AD, and Intimacy Coordinator/Fight Captain respectively. It was imperative that I bring on Gabrielle Nunzio as our Intimacy Coordinator/Fight Captain safety and comfort of the cast and crew come before the film. She’s a marvel to watch in her element, to boot! Avye and Veronica kept me on the straight and narrow, and god bless them for it. The entire crew was truly a delight to work with and I learned something from everyone. The entire crew was truly a delight to work with and I learned something from everyone. Prior to shooting in March and April I hadn’t been on set in sometime due to personal impediments™, so everything from technical aspects to “hey, don’t stand there” I welcomed with open arms.
The casting process is hands down my favorite part of production, and it is not even close. I love meeting new actors and seeing what they bring to a role, insights that get my gears turning about a character that hadn’t before. With this film, however, I was oh-so very nervous. The characters of Eric and Robin are very precious to me, and I am simply the happiest a writer/director could be because Sam Fesmire (Eric) and Donovan Gale (Robin) took such good care of them. We all worked together through character analysis and rehearsals, and it really shows in the final edit. I will sing Sam and Donovan’s praises forever – staunch professionals and spearheading their own creative projects that are ones to look out for!
While My Guy is not available for public viewing yet – believe me, I’m dying to share with everyone! – I hope you will keep an eye out on my or Salty Doubloon Digital Studio’s Instagram for updates on that status! There may be a trailer soon 👀 In the meantime, I made a soundtrack of my own inspired by Big Chill, despite none of the songs being featured in my film. Feel free to give it a listen here!
From the bottom of my heart, I would like to thank everyone involved in this project. Extra special thank you to Sam and Katrina for letting me use their beautiful home. And thank you, lovely reader, for getting this far. To be honest, it just feels good to share my musings about a project that has meant a lot to me. Or anything at all, for that matter. In my years since graduating college, I have grown into (for better or for worse) a very private person. Lead to believe that what I had to say didn’t amount to much and wasn’t worth sharing. And even after all of this, if I discover it isn’t…um who cares? Proof of life, proof that I take up space is important. I will no longer fixate on what I wish I could share.
And in terms of where I land as a filmmaker…all I can say is that I am writing a comedy next. Fixating on a project that’s about a group of friends on a night out sounds a lot more fun than two people in a tumultuous relationship. Call me crazy.
